To Thrive or Survive – Which Would YOU Rather Do?

If you could choose, would you rather survive the daily hustle and bustle or do you aspire to be a thriving member of society – someone admired by your peers?

How many of you have the spirit of a warrior, an unyielding work ethic, or an innate drive to do something significant with your life?  Maybe you HAD lofty goals, once, prior to health complications, a few too many roadblocks, or life’s limitations that forced you to re-route your fickle fate.

I imagine we’ve all felt this way to some extent since long-term plans are often interrupted.

Do those of you living with a chronic disease, handicap, or disadvantage of any sort find that either you or dear ones expect life to carry on the same as it ever did?  And if so, how realistic is that?

My abbreviated health continuum looks something like this:

I was abnormally physically active and one busy bee throughout middle school and high school.  Health problems developed in college and took a bad turn at the start of my career – at which point I could do little more than veg on the couch.  Today, I’ve adapted my lifestyle, I’m well adjusted with minimal signs of disease: I work out most days, prep most meals from scratch, work on by bizniz most of the time, maintain most of our home while my man’s in school, and keep most of our family and friends happy with occasional meetups.

Here’s what I’m getting at and why this topic tends to revvv my lil’ engine that could…

Life is different now.  Tasks are harder.  When I look back at my stamina prior to the lupus and compare it to today, I would describe the present as being similar to walking through thick mud or running in squishy sand.  It’s possible, and if I work extra hard, I can keep up with others who are training on a solid surface, but it’s tough.  It takes additional effort, diligence and dedication to get the job done.  It requires an edge.

So some things must change, but I don’t have to change entirely.

Having an autoimmune disease, doesn’t mean that I’m going to relinquish my drive, my goals and aspirations – neither should you!  In fact, the entire situation makes me want to accomplish more!!

Sometimes it feels like Susie-Q thinks I should be satisfied to be mostly pain-free, to be getting by.  But I want more than that.  I ask myself often, is that really what God intended for my life?  I don’t know about you, but I don’t buy it.  I believe we’re born our burdens 1) to test us and 2) because God knows that we can handle them and still do something spectacular with our lives!!  I’m still figuring out the spectacular part.

SO, in order to be a supportive wife, a faithful family member, kind to my body, balanced in life, knowledgeable in my field, etc… and to perform well – it’s crucial that I pace myself or I’ll wind up run down and miserable.  Essentially, this means I’m playing with a different deck of cards.  I have to budget 8-10 hours of sleep, adequate chill time, and a quality crash on the couch at least once a week.  When driving a distance to an event – I need to pad the same amount of time to re-coop.  Special occasions, look out, that could take several days to bounce back and chaotic holidays require a week to recover – or more, if any alcohol is involved.

Hence I lose time: each day, each week, each month.  As a result, I have to keep my priorities in check and balance the limited energy I have, fairly and efficiently.  I have to be proactive to avoid activities that deflate me, food and alcohol that sicken me, and stress that exacerbates my symptoms.

So I focus on what makes me tick.  I get off on working hard and being productive, so that’s important for me to include in my life.  But what is challenging to maintain, at least in accordance to today’s standards, is socializing – time spent shooting the shiznit, time that I lack.

You see, hanging out with others is much different than being quiet and still in my safe-haven.  In fact, for me it can quickly zap my precious energy reserves while eating up my touchy timeline.

Don’t get me wrong, I recognize the value in community, relationships, and being around other people – especially interesting folks.  However, I’m relatively introverted by nature.  I can go a full day without talking to anyone and be completely satisfied.  Add this to the fact that I’m constantly working on improving my health and attempting to contribute to society – and something’s gotta give.

I’m realizing that I have to let other people down easy, I have to say “no.”  I’m recognizing that I’m okay with my situation – even if others aren’t.  Otherwise, I could spend my entire existence pampering myself, being a homemaker and trying to keep everyone else happy – everyone but myself… and that my friends, is just not for me.

Following my diagnosis, I took time off from work completely.  I attended most friend and family events while my hubby worked overtime.  I focused on getting well and I studied plant-based eating in depth.  I was very fortunate, and to this day I’m thankful for that time and opportunity.

As soon as my efforts began paying off and I stated to feel human again, being a stay-at-home mom without the kids became utterly non fulfilling and this is why…

When suffering was my norm – that’s when I promised myself that I would make it all worthwhile.

In order to help others to defy their disease, to engage myself in fulfilling activities, to be my best when I’m in the presence of friends and family – I have to walk a fine line.  I have to choose the path of most resistance to do what’s ideal for my well-being.  Otherwise, thriving won’t be a viable option.  Do you catch my drift?

I’m not here to merely survive.  I’ve fought the good fight for a while, and I’ll continue to do so – that’s who I am.  Now that I’ve gotten myself out of the quicksand, I’m looking ahead to what’s next. 

What can I do to make a difference?

I’m a survivor by instinct, but I thrive by choice.  I don’t plan to settle on merely surviving anytime soon, and neither should you -

if that’s your choice,

if that’s your personality,

if that’s what you value.

Live the life you planned to live, before life got in the way.

Reach a point where you can think beyond survival by taking extra good care of yourself, then dig down and DO IT.

If you’re wondering how to get yourself out of a rut health-wise, read this post on How to Defy an Autoimmune Disease – Nutrition Guidelines to Thrive!  In the meantime, EatUrVeggies!

It would mean a lot to hear your thoughts on this topic.  What would you rather do, thrive or survive?  If you wish to thrive, what’s holding you back in your life?  What obstacles are you facing and how do you plan to overcome them so that you’re not merely surviving the day-to-day, but accomplishing the goals you were born to pursue!

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